Sea of Serenity, Moon — Gold prices experienced their largest single-day decline in nearly a century yesterday after autonomous mining systems operating on the Moon announced the discovery of what analysts described as "an unreasonable amount of gold."

The announcement triggered immediate panic across financial markets.

Several precious metals funds lost more value in six hours than they had gained over the previous twenty years.

Meanwhile, manufacturers of luxury park benches surged.

The discovery was made by Lunar Extraction Cooperative 7, a fleet of fully autonomous mining robots originally deployed to search for construction materials for expanding Moon settlements.

Instead, they found enough gold to make investors deeply uncomfortable.

According to preliminary estimates, the newly identified deposits contain more gold than all previously mined gold in human history combined.

Several times over.

Market participants initially assumed the figures were the result of a software error.

Unfortunately for them, the robots checked their calculations 14 million times.

The numbers remained unchanged.

"This is not the outcome we were hoping for," admitted precious metals analyst Richard Walker during an emergency market broadcast.

"For thousands of years, the investment thesis was based on scarcity."

Walker paused.

"The Moon appears not to have read our research."

Financial news channels immediately switched to continuous coverage.

Experts spent the day debating whether gold remained a store of value.

Most agreed it did.

They simply could not agree whose value.

The biggest winner was the construction industry.

Several lunar cities announced plans to use gold in:

One mayor described the metal as "surprisingly attractive once you stop treating it like a religion."

Traditional gold investors were less enthusiastic.

Many gathered online to insist the discovery changed nothing.

"It's still gold," wrote one commentator.

"There are only so many moons."

The argument temporarily stabilized prices before astronomers reminded markets that the Solar System contains hundreds of moons.

Prices fell again.

Meanwhile, Bitcoin supporters celebrated across social media.

Thousands posted the same message:

The celebration ended several hours later when researchers announced that three alien civilizations also appeared to have independently invented Bitcoin.

Market volatility increased immediately.

Not everyone views the development negatively.

Economic historians have noted that humanity has repeatedly transformed once-rare materials into everyday commodities.

Aluminum was once considered more valuable than gold.

Today it mostly holds soft drinks.

Several experts suggested gold may simply be beginning a similar transition.

The comparison triggered widespread outrage among gold enthusiasts.

At press time, the city council of New Vienna Lunar District approved funding for what will become the Solar System's first solid-gold public park bench.

Officials estimate it will cost approximately the same as a wooden bench did in 2025.