Geneva, Earth — Representatives of the Pleiadean Cultural Exchange Mission stunned world leaders yesterday after confirming that their return to Earth was motivated primarily by a desire to acquire rare Pokémon cards.
The revelation came during a highly anticipated press conference marking the 25th anniversary of First Contact.
For decades, spiritual teachers, researchers and historians had debated why the advanced civilization maintained such a strong interest in humanity.
Popular theories included:
Guiding human consciousness
Assisting planetary evolution
Preparing humanity for galactic integration
Helping Earth transition into a post-scarcity civilization
According to the Pleiadeans, these were all genuine objectives.
Just not the main one.
"We understand there has been some confusion," explained senior diplomat Ael'Ra during the conference.
"Our original mission involved locating a near-mint-condition First Edition Charizard."
The room reportedly fell silent.
Ael'Ra continued.
"At the time, Earth possessed one of the largest surviving collections in this region of the galaxy."
Several journalists initially assumed the statement was a translation error.
Unfortunately for them, it was not.
According to newly declassified archives, the first Pleiadean reconnaissance teams arrived in the late twentieth century after collectors detected unusual concentrations of highly sought-after trading cards.
Particular interest centered around:
First Edition Charizard
Pikachu Illustrator
Shadowless Blastoise
Several mysterious promotional cards long believed lost
Historians spent the remainder of the day revising large sections of modern alien-contact literature.
The announcement has generated mixed reactions.
Some spiritual communities expressed disappointment.
Others appeared relieved.
"I actually find this more believable," admitted one attendee.
The Pleiadeans insist humanity should not underestimate its importance.
Over the course of their mission they reportedly became increasingly fascinated by human culture.
Particularly music, storytelling and personal transformation.
"The consciousness expansion was real," explained Ael'Ra.
"It simply wasn't why we arrived."
Asked whether helping humanity evolve had ultimately become a priority, the diplomat nodded.
"Absolutely."
He paused.
"Shortly after locating the Charizard."
According to official records, Earth's subsequent spiritual renaissance, AI-assisted healing revolution and transition into post-scarcity society all occurred during the following decades.
Researchers estimate billions of lives improved as a result.
The Pleiadeans describe these developments as "one of the most successful secondary outcomes in mission history."
Meanwhile, economists are struggling to assess the impact of another announcement made during the event.
The Galactic Collectors Exchange officially classified several Pokémon cards as Interstellar Cultural Assets.
Values increased immediately.
One card reportedly changed hands for the equivalent of three luxury lunar apartments and partial ownership of a vineyard on Mars.
The seller described the transaction as "fair."
Not everyone is convinced.
Several conspiracy theorists argue the card explanation is itself a cover story.
One online forum suggested the true reason for contact remains hidden.
The theory gained traction after users pointed out that no civilization capable of faster-than-light travel would cross the galaxy for collectible cardboard.
At press time, the Pleiadeans released a follow-up statement.
It consisted of a single image.
The image showed a pristine First Edition Charizard.
Underneath appeared the caption: